Your Integrity is Priceless, period.
One of the features I love about writing is this opportunity to be vulnerable and honest to the reader about the raw feelings and emotion I have in my life. Of course the author takes the risk of being judged or made fun of, but the author may take the even bigger risk of actually being able to relate to the reader in a very genuine, or powerful way.
And so, for a while now, finding a job, a real job, that pays a real check has been on the top of my priority list. Of course, some of the motive is for obvious reasons like an extra income and helping provide for the household. Unfortunately one of the other motives come from knowing that helping others, writing, mentoring and full time ministry isn’t good enough for some people around me. Worrying what others think of me, this girl who’s had a taste of the NFL wife lifestyle, with this dream of helping others, singing and having a successful business (i am mermaid LLC) that’s just too lazy to get a job, a real job.
Instead of walking in confidence knowing that what I do everyday behind the curtains, is more than likely, more valuable to this world than a 9 to 5 that brings in extra income (obviously not saying if you have a 9 to 5 you’re not valuable or as valuable as me). There’s a battle inside me to be content with doing life changing work that not everyone can see, but also to be accepted and hopefully looked at as a hard worker who’s not lazy, and isn’t some past time NFL wife just sitting around hoping for another chance at an NFL type bank account.
I want to give you a short version without loosing the power of the story, so here we go:
When I got to Orlando, I immediately started looking for a job. I signed up with a talent agent and then proceeded to apply for jobs at local restaurants and nanny positions. After three weeks of interviews, that I nailed by the way, nothing came to past. Don’t worry, I didn’t give up, but in the mean time I went on about 7 auditions and was submitted for about 15 convention type jobs…. Nothing. These companies come into town for these conventions and want people (good looking ladies) to stand in their booth or in front of the door to pass stuff out and all of that. Because they wanted blondes only, I obviously wasn’t hired for one. Until my agent shmoozed me into one and game ON! $500 for two and a half days of work!? Are you kidding?! This was a dream come true and answer to prayer.
The first day I got to the convention, I eagerly road the escalator down to the lobby to meet my temporary boss, we shook hands and then he then explained that this convention was a real estate / brokers convention which typically meant 99% men. Good thing I’ve got my hair down and I remembered to sprits that perfume, oh, and so proudly rocking my wedding ring…
The other “talent” hired showed up and was a lovely lady who had a great smile. She attempted to connect with me immediately and I felt like we hit it off, kind of. As the night went on, we obviously we’re instructed to draw potential clients to the booth by explaining about the services and then give some information and in exchange acquire a business card from each. I did exactly this. Some of the men chose to close their pretty little eyes when the opportunity to see my wedding ring came, and the invitations for dinner, golf and trips were flowing my way. I was kind but I mentioned how great my husband was whenever possible. The lady working with me mentioned a few times that there were men staring from afar and that I needed to go over to where they were standing (20 feet away) and bat my eyes for a collection of business cards to bring back to “our boss”. I told her I wouldn’t, and then explained that I was going to treat these men the way I’d want a woman to treat my husband if he were here. She said that was the most inspirational thing she had ever heard.
The night ended and I obviously had mixed emotions about making money from standing in as “bait” to get potential business for this guy. Oh yes, but then I recalled the bills that were due and remembered the $500 coming from these next two days.
Later that same evening I was in line for taco Tuesday at a local restaurant when I get a text from my agent that says “client doesn’t think you’re a good fit for his company and doesn’t want you back.”
Y’all, the tears swelled up and I just put my head down. Was it because I wasn’t blonde?! I finally landed a job, and I blow it! What the heck did I do to ruin it for myself? Was I not flirty enough? What was it, that after all this time of so many interviews, auditions, and resume’s sent out, that I couldn’t keep a job for a couple of hours. Come on Haley! After the tears and then words of encouragement from my sisters and Simeon, I started coming to the reality that this was not just some mistake. I had made a choice earlier that evening, to keep my integrity and act like an lovely married woman, than to go with the flow, let my surrounding determine my actions and give up my integrity for a couple of days. For what, a measly $500?
I had to ask myself if it was worth it or not. I clearly said absolutely not.
It took a few days to swallow, but you know what? I didn’t compromise my integrity. I have to trust God to provide for me, and He doesn’t need ANY help. At all.
Have you ever had an opportunity to compromise your morals and values but you took the high road?
Knowing where I am at this point in my life and experiencing the locked doors and the open windows is teaching me a few things:
#1. God’s Will is God’s Will, and if you pray it, then you should be ok with whatever that is.
#2. It’s not about pleasing others or fulfilling other’s dreams they have for you. You don’t live to please others or carry out their plans they’ve set in mind for you.
#3 Success is not how big a pay check is or how much is in your bank account. True success is walking in order with God’s plan and purpose for your life.
#4 It is a daily choice to lay aside your pride and walk in faith when the things God has called you to look foolish to the world.
#5 What God has for you, no one but you can walk it out
#6 the peace, knowing you’re where you are and trusting that the Lord takes care of it all… is priceless …..
#7 no matter what you do, the world will ALWAYS have something to say about it